I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize