that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
