You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
