weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
