So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
