bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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