sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
