I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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