Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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