508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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