I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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