It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
