...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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