I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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