I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
