i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
