this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize