He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
