oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
