when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
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I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
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Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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