Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
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from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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