he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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