well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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