Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
