Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
