Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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