Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
