Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
