Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
