Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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