Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
