Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
