Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
