There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
People in love make me want to vomit
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
