brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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