Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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