a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
