planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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