if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
