I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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