At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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