your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Boobs speak an international language.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
