Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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