I heard we made out
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
either way he was missing a nipple.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
