Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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