Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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