he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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