There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
