She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
