It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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