They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
