i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
