I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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