batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
