Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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