very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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